The Life I Don’t Want to Live

I felt like my life was out of my control, and I had no idea how to get control or slow things down. I felt once again at the mercy of someone else’s bad decisions and life choices… The pace of our lives was exhausting, and there were no brakes anywhere in sight.

Finally, we did crash. I said, “NO MORE.” I had had enough of single parenting and giving up so much of myself for the sake of the ministry. I left our church. I told my husband I wanted a marriage, a father for our children, and a church that brought me life, not death.

If you’ve wondered were I’ve been, or why I’ll have spurts of blog articles, and then none, it’s only because I don’t want to end up with this life.  I don’t want these words to be the words I see my wife writing in an article one day.  I want to make sure that I keep these commitments. I want to be more than man who say he committed to being a follower, a husband and a father before a pastor…

I want to live it

What’s the life you don’t want to live? Or maybe I should ask, what’s the life you want to live – the life you know you should be living?

Just do it.

It’s not what it used to be…

What happens when form precedes function?

What happens when your memories exceeds your dreams?

Take Union Station in Washington D.C.  Read the History.

It reminds of a story I heard that goes like this:

On a dangerous seacoast where shipwrecks often occur there was once a crude little lifesaving station. The building was just a hut, and there was only one boat, but the few devoted members kept a constant watch over the sea, and with no thought for themselves went out day and night tirelessly searching for the lost. Some of those who were saved, and various others in the surrounding area, wanted to become associated with the station and give of their time and money and effort for the support of its work. New boats were bought and new crews trained. The little lifesaving station grew.

Some of the members of the lifesaving station were unhappy that the building was so crude and poorly equipped. They felt that a more comfortable place should be provided as the first refuge of those saved from the sea. They replaced the emergency cots with beds and put better furniture in the enlarged building. Now, the lifesaving station became a popular gathering place for its members, and they decorated it beautifully and furnished it exquisitely, because they used it as a sort of club. Fewer members were now interested in going to sea on lifesaving missions, so they hired lifeboat crews to do this work. The lifesaving motif still prevailed in this club’s decoration, and there was a symbolic lifeboat in the room where the club initiations were held. About this time a large ship was wrecked off the coast, and the hired crews brought in boatloads of cold, wet and half-drowned people. They were dirty and sick and some of them had black skin and some had yellow skin. The beautiful new club was in chaos. So the property committee immediately had a shower house built outside the club where victims of shipwreck could be cleaned up before coming inside.

At the next meeting, there was a split in the club membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the club’s lifesaving activities as being unpleasant and a hindrance to the normal social life of the club. Some members insisted upon lifesaving as their primary purpose and pointed out that they were still called a lifesaving station. But they were finally voted down and told that if they wanted to save lives of all the various kinds of people who were shipwrecked in those waters, they could begin their own lifesaving station down the coast. They did.

As the years went by, the new station experienced the same changes that had occurred in the old. It evolved into a club, and yet another lifesaving station was founded. History continued to repeat itself, and if you visit that sea coast today, you will find a number of exclusive clubs along that shore. Shipwrecks are frequent in those waters, but most of the people drown.
THE END?

Book Review: Faces in the Fire by T.L. Hines

The quote on the back of the book by Publishers Weekly in describing the author T.L. Hines states “Hines dialogue is darkly funny as he explores the depths o the humans desire for authenticity….Fans of breathless suspense that’s a little off center will enjoy” is very similar to my thoughts of this book.  Personally, it is a lot darker book than that of what I usually read.  However, the suspense did keep me desiring to read it as I quickly finished it in 2-3 days.

The story is about 4 intertwined characters who each have a major setback in life ranging from amnesia, cancer, drug use, and assassin.  The book is set up in 4 distinct “stanzas” in which each character’s story unfolds.   As you read through each stanza you begin to see how the unknowingly intertwined characters are involved with each other.

As the plot (or lack thereof) unfolds I have to honestly admit that it was a struggle to get through the last few chapters.  The falling action and resolution are not very strong and as a matter of fact took me the longest to get through.

I would recommend it to someone else (as long as they were over 16) but would not go out of my way to recommend it to others.

(This book review was done by my wife)

Book Review: Fearless by Max Lucado

When I received Fearless by Max Lucado in the mail, I was both excited about what this book would communicate, and hesitant to find what this book would confront – the fears of my own life. Max communicates beautifully that fear is a reality that confronts our lives, but it isn’t a reality that needs to control our lives.

We all know the scriptures about fear.  I can even quote most of the “popular ones.”  But what I love about this book is how Max takes a common topic such as fear, and uncommonly speaks from a biblical perspective in a way that is both fresh and familiar.

Simply put, this will be another one of those books that is on my shelf that will find it’s cover worn, and its stories shared more than once.

Dear Leona,

Thinking of you today!